Last wednesday was Burns night and I didn’t post anything which was immediately a source of annoyance to me, in fact I haven’t posted anything for about ten days now so this only magnifies my frustration. The demands of having a real job finally seem to be hitting home. Anyway, the arrival at my desk of an old miniature of 12yo Lagavulin from the 1980s seems to have breezed the dust of off these pages and re-booted my whisky mojo. There is no evidence that Robert Burns had a particular fondness for Islay/peated whisky over the others. Although he did die at the age of 37, partly from terminal romanticism and melancholy, but also because he was a colossal piss head so I suspect he didn’t mind which distillery it came from (so long as it wasn’t Ferintosh). So this seems a fitting dram to belatedly celebrate his birthday, lets crack on…

Lagavulin 12yo OB. White Horse Distillers. 1980s rotation. 43%. 5cl. 

Colour: Rosewood (surprisingly dark)

Nose: Wow! Unmistakably Lagavulin, an old style one with plenty sherry. It has something of these old 12yo white label editions from the 1970s but it is also very much like the current 16yo except punchier, earthier, rootier and more coastal. There is also something a bit ‘old Ardbeggy’ about it in the sheer tarry, oily density of the phenols. Big sizzling peat, loads of oils, medicine, seaweed, frying bacon, crashing coastal notes, seashore, lemongrass, coal dust and fresh oysters. This is quite different the even bigger than the other full size bottle versions that I’ve tried in the past. Quite spectacular really. Goes on with lots of mints and dark chocoalte (Bendick’s bittermints), wiht peat syrup, more tar and just an endless plethora of coastal, medicinal, farmyard and industrial qualities. Pretty stunning.

Palate: Is this really 43%? A large slab of peat upon delivery, fat, oily, juicy and drying. Kippers, smoked mussels, brine, seawater, creosote, some flickers of dark and dried fruits from the sherry but it’s mostly bags of coastal and medical qualities that dominate up front. TCP, mouthwash, germoline, a mouthful of dried seaweed then salt and vinegar crisps. Balsamic vinegar now with spearmint, more of these super fat phenols, oils, peated honey (?) and coarse black pepper. Wonderful.

Finish: Longer than Burn’s letter to Dr John Moore.

Comments: I’ve been fortunate enough to try quite a few old Lagavulins in recent months and what strikes me is the seemingly never-ending consistency of brilliance between them all. There are patters of personality and quirks of character that you can trace from the 1950s right though to the 1990s so it seems, especially when sherry is involved. This one was spectacular as excepted but the sherry and peat combination was a great deal more intense than expected. I think there was almost certainly some caramel in there but it wasn’t to a point of detriment if you ask me. I think Burns would have approved.

Score: 93/100

I wouldn’t do a post like this without a bit of music. When it comes to Burns I’ll not waste my breath by laying out what marked him as a genius when his words are still echoing though our psyche centuries after he committed them to paper. I think it would be better to just shut up and listen. It is hard to choose a particular poem or song over the others, so many of them already seem like perfect and ancient lynchpins of modern songwriting that to have a favourite would be to miss the point a little. However, there is one that springs to mind in these heady Scottish days when we are ruminating on nationalism, independence and the ramifications of severing our ties to the rest of the UK. Much poetry and polemic is spun about it in both directions by our ceaseless politicians but perhaps Burn’s 1791 slice of national navel gazing that is A Parcel O’ Rogues, with its sadly angry bitterness over Scottish greed and waning of willpower, says as much today as it did then.

Emperor Cameron indicates the width of his DVD collection.

You can’t help but be impressed by David Cameron; not only does he believe wholeheartedly that he has the right to govern the people of Britain despite only having a mandate from a nano-minority of inbred millionaires who were fortunate enough to be born into a frothing cauldron of sheer luck, he also seems to think that if he doesn’t tell the British film industry how to do things properly then it will simply vanish down the plughole of unproductive left-wing pseudo-art…….. How enterprising of him, how noble and fiendishly clever. Where would we be without David Cameron? It’s a wonder he finds time to watch all the small, independent British films that are made every year. To keep abreast of modern cinematic trends and offer expert insight based on his inspirational levels of industry and textual analysis despite the amount of shite he has to eat and regurgitate on a daily basis is truly admirable. How did he ever find time to see all these films during those years spent arse-licking and principle-shredding his way to the top of the British political manure pile?Wasn’t he too busy pouring scorn on the unemployed for their deliberate and cold-hearted sponging from the state rather than having the good decency to simply inherit money from deceased relatives? Then there’s the pandering to Middle England, making sure at all costs that they never hear anything other than exactly what they expect to. Not to mention the constant and draining process of personally providing regular and clinically thorough sexual gratification to each of his Eurosceptic, Backbench crustaceans in the form of rubbing them all over with cognac soaked copies of the Daily Mail while cooing Laissez-Faire philosophical tidbits in their ear until they eventually stiffen, quiver imperceptibly, collapse in a heap of pipe tobacco and spit-whittled pork scratchings then agree to stop voting against him for the next few days.

Some of David's modern, backbench 'yoofs', keeping it real with the masses. Note the trendy double IPad front right. These 'bitches' were all recently satisfied by David's 'skillful handiwork'.

Given all that, it really surprises me that he’s seen such noteworthy films as This Is England, Fish Tank, Red Road, London To Brighton, Neds, The Guard, Tyrannosaur, Kill List, Shame, Ironclad, Morven Callar, Moon… the list goes on. I mean, how can he not have seen all these films? Who would be crazy enough to wade into a debate they are ill-prepared for, ill-informed about and not welcome in? It’s crazy, you’d think he had something against smalltime British cinema, but surely not? Alas, David Cameron is a traditionalist at heart and a connoisseur of the free market economy. His hatred of art for art’s sake, the BBC and publicly funded stuff like independent British films and the NHS are hardwired into his DNA, just like his distaste of paupers and his joy in exploring other boys bodies in a totally cool way in the dorms after matron has put the lights out. Just ask his fag George Osbourne.

David's Pet Chancellor, George. Together putting the 'N' in Tory Cuts since 2010.

The reality of the British film industry is that it is a complex beast; for every King’s Speech or Slumdog Millionaire that makes a ton of cash, there are several low-key efforts that may not break entirely even at the box office but are no less flush with artistic merit or value. There is also a fair amount of shit, inevitable and acceptable, some might argue necessary, because the process of risk-taking that is film-making invariably yields the occasional jobbie sandwich. To have a film industry at all we need variety, there are countless small budget, often obscure, British films that have enriched the fabric of cinema, popular culture and individual lives in ways we cannot possibly comprehend. To take Cameron’s advice and turn it into a fetid, Hollywoodesque blockbuster excreter would destroy the very nature of something we should rightly all be proud of in this country. That variety, experimentation, fearlessness and breadth of expression is what gives us an Industry. It is the difference between an industry and a factory which is what David Cameron would rather we had; a vacuous, soul devoid machine to crank out capital, one where these annoying, left-wing film makers have no place and no voice. The real root of his comments is one of pure political doctrine, the same one that lies at the heart of the never-ending Tory quest to dismantle the BBC and privatise the NHS because these institutions are largely left-wing, socialist leaning entities. Not always, there are obviously exceptions, David Cameron clearly loves Top Gear, he even cameoed in hilarious fashion in this year’s Christmas special, appearing as comfortable and natural on pre-recorded screen as a bin liner full of shredded chip board. There are also cinematic exceptions, Cameron pointedly singled out the King’s Speech, a character study of other rich people largely devoid of any political overtones, something I suspect he quite appreciated. Although it’s a shame that he has championed it so much, as it leads me to dislike a perfectly good film just because I feel slightly dirty at the thought of agreeing with David Cameron about anything.

The excellent King's Speech. A film David Cameron found to be thoroughly jolly and is currently rooting for Michael Bay to direct the sequel.

It’s as if he were to suddenly get involved in the Scotch Whisky industry. Oozing in like a seething albino slug, decanting his fetid self into the room and informing all the distilleries they need to be making more sweet, bourbon enhanced, populist malts. As if there isn’t already enough of that going on. Every industry needs quirk and variety if it is to be loved and hold true value. I think Cameron sees everything against some sort of politico-economic barometer that determines it’s usefulness in getting him and his fop-haired, bum chums re-elected. It seems he’s surprised why so many of the smaller films made in Britain might be infused with a left-wing sentiment, but perhaps his lack of comprehension is the most telling thing. Great art comes more often from left-leaning origins than right-leaning ones, not always but most of the time. There must be a reason for this, I’d call it a capacity for empathy and a genuine desire for communication and understanding. He’d call it bleeding heart liberalism and promptly have us all privatised. And then shot. Leave the film industry alone David, I don’t go on telly and tell you how to be an undeserving, spiteful, overly monied android do I?

A soulless, empty, lab grown, non-human, computerised synthetic. And the lovable Data from Star Trek.

After all that ranting I felt like a dram and what’s more it’s high time I dragged this post kicking and screaming back to the safer realms of whisky bloggery. At least then I can rant about something more fluently than I can politics. A simple tasting to wind down today’s furious diatribe should be just the ticket.

Aultmore 1983-1997 OB. Flora & Fauna Cask Strength. 58.8%. 70cl.

This one comes courtesy of Tobias and Dennis, thanks guys. Part of the excellent and now highly sought after Flora & Fauna Cask Strength series.

Colour: Pale Gold.

Nose: Quite sharp and peppery at first with a fairly keen edge to the alcohol. However there are also some beautifully vivid mineral notes along with petrol, white flowers, wet grains and toasted cereals. Some restrained notes of wax, stone fruits, green apples, porridge, grass and camphor. Very nice so far, lets try with water… it softens out quite beautifully, all on lemon oil, vanilla balm, hints of orange liqueur, sunflower oil, butter and brioche.

Palate: Hot hot hot! Very prickly and green with notes of varnish, lemon oil, salt, buttered toast and pear flesh. Quite intense at full strength, definitely needs water. With water has notes of milk bottle sweeties, baked apples, cinnamon, rice pudding and custard. Quite a creamy and spicy confection. Lots of aromatic toasted spice notes, more drying cereal qualities, nutmeg, vanilla pods, grass, pine sap and cornflour. Quite a nice balance between older style dryness and a more modern, up front sweetness.

Finish: Longish with violets, honey, touches of tar, hay, coal, juniper and more mixed spices.

Comments: At times very potent and quite difficult and at others quite lush, juicy and aromatic, a bit of a good bag all in all and never boring. Excellent Aultmore.

Score: 85/100

It seems there are four old Clynelish kicking around my tasting cupboard. What a shame. This distillery evidently needs no introduction or blether from me so we’ll just dive right in if you don’t mind.

Clynelish 14yo. OB. Flora & Fauna. Rotation mid-late 1990s. 43%. 70cl. 

This bottle is actually the reason this tasting came about. It all started when a certain pair of whisky quaffers by the names of Dennis and Tobias exclaimed this to be the ‘best Clynelish you can buy’ or something like that on facetube. I swiftly disagreed and the result was they sent me a sample. With this in mind I’d like to publicly denounce all old official Laphroaigs as dusty fruit free piss water, any pre-war malts as brittle and deeply flawed and early 70s Broras and Longrows as dull and unimaginatively peated blend fodder. Just send the samples to the usual address guys…

Colour: Gold

Nose: Uber typical at first, lots of wax, hessian, shoe polish, chamomile, lilies, pollen and green fruit. It seems to combine a perfect mix of older style, early 70s era Clynelish with some of the modern day 14yo traits. Notes of old Riesling, shoe polish, beeswax, dusty mineral notes, white flowers, fresh chives, a little green tomato chutney and straw. This is really beautiful, I’m starting to feel less confident about blowing this one out of the water with the older ones. A really beautiful old style sweetness that combines elements of natural vanilla and honeycomb is balanced by some fantastically taught and drying coastal notes. Hints of sandalwood, seashore and lemon zest.

Palate: Hmmm, a little dusty on delivery, was this bottle open a long time I wonder? Improves with a few further sips and really starts to bloom with lots of fresh bread, raw sea salt, green tea, more chamomile, wood spice, touches of peat and tar with a really mouthwatering mineral sensation. Still perfectly dry with just twitches of sweetness about it now. Quite savoury and salty, like black olives on pastry. More grass, green fruit, pebbles, tinned peaches, all kinds of oils, eucalyptus sweets and cream soda.

Finish: Long, lively, warming and super fresh. The coastal aspects go into overdrive and you get this big zingy, salty, mouthwatering mineral sensation. The honey flavours come back a bit as it fades. Lovely.

Comments: Well I had thought this one would be easily defeated by the others that are to follow but now I’m not so sure. Surprisingly close to the early 70s style in many ways. Probably from those great batches distilled in the early 80s. A big thankyou to Dennis and Tobias for this one.

Score: 90/100

Speaking of which…

Clynelish 28yo. Douglas Laing OMC. 1982-2011. 238 Bottles. Refill Hogshead. 50%. 70cl.

Colour: Straw Gold

Nose: It’s quite surprising how close this is initially to the F&F bottling. Only a slightly more intense resinous quality belies its greater age. It combines those beautiful qualities of tinned tropical fruits, hessain, huge waxiness, drying coastal notes and white stone fruits that make this such a world class distillate. Further notes of damp straw, coal, creosote, motor oil, vanilla cream, black pepper and celery soup. This one is big bold and intense, it doesn’t quite share the same complexity as the F&F but it compensates with a wonderfully direct intensity of character. Goes on with notes of mint, seaweed, dried herbs and more huge seashore aromas.

Palate: Softer than expected but still a barrel of wax and oil topped up with seawater. This one becomes massively salty after a few moments, a dens saltiness, like chewing whole sea salt crystals, with lemon juice, acid drops, grass, and tobacco leaf in the background. Quite astonishingly coastal and intense this one, smoked salmon, black pepper, metallic notes, chocolate limes, chopped parsley and buttered toast. Great stuff, although you might not want to drink this if you have weak kidneys, the salt might finish you off. Good if you have a sodium deficiency though…

Finish: Bready, salty, savoury, floral, super coastal and long.

Comments: Great stuff, super classical old style Clynelish, is has everything in spades, except for salt, it has that in shovels. You need to like dry, coastal, hyper fresh and salty whiskies to enjoy this one I think. I love it.

Score: 90/100

Clynelish 1972-2010 38yo. The Whisky Agency. 138 bottles. Refill sherry hogshead. 45.8%. 70cl. 

Colour: Amber

Nose: A big explosion of lush green and tropical fruits with all kinds, honey, coastal notes, oils, waxy qualities and background cereal touches. Just gorgeous and unmistakeably early 70s Clynelish. The nose is incredibly fresh for 38 years and that balance of intense fruit and regulating coastal notes is just stunning, there is some oak in the mix but it is perfectly subdued, just soft wafts of dark chocolate and stewed fruits betray the sherry. It also reveals menthol, pipe tobacco, touches of rancio, lemon green tea and muesli. Orange liqueur, dates, bitters, caraway seeds and cornflour.

Palate: On the palate the wood is clearly a little louder but it is not overly astringent, the waxiness is still huge and the distillery character is still very much in play. Lots of resin, salt, camphor, black tea, raisins, hints of cognac, sandalwood, toasted cereals, mint and green fruits. Some really beautiful citrus as well with hits of tinned fruits, fruit syrups and more salty seashore notes. This is perilously drinkable and despite that slight woody edge is really delicious, in fact the wood works quite nicely in holding everything together and keeping the whole profile lively and focused. Another stunning old Clynelish in other words.

Finish: It’s not the longest ever but it remains all on fruit resins, wax, touches of wood, chocolate, mead, coal and mint.

Comments: I suspect most of these early 70s casks will not last too much longer before the wood starts to take over. This one was just on the cusp but it was still reliably stunning.

Score: 92/100

Clynelish 1972-2009. 36yo. G&M for LMDW. Cask 14301. 197 bottles. 59.4%. 70cl. 

Colour: Gold

Nose: This one is bigger, more austere, more mineral and more gravely at first nosing. Some clean oak, loads of tight and sharp coastal notes, wax, paraffin, resin, tons of honeycomb and pollen. We’re not really that far away again from the F&F 14yo, it’s just much bigger, more intense and more compact due to much greater age and strength. The focus of the flavour is quite impressive though. Becomes more floral with a bit of time showing notes of white flowers and dandelions. With water: now it’s just a hotbed of warm honey, green fruits and simmering spices. Green peppercorns in brine, charcoal, oysters, lemon drops and a whole coast line.

Palate: Tha alcohol is quite imposing at first sip, the austerity is still resolutely there with a big crisp saltiness, salt and vinegar crisps in fact. All the usual suspects are here, wax, lemon oil, flowers, flints, seashore, minerals and tiny flecks of peat as well. But you can feel it needs waster… with water: Wow! It opened up perfectly, a thirsty whisky if ever there was one. Bags of bay leaves, green tea, lemon skins, apple peelings, seashore, sandalwood, oysters, wild flowers, all kinds of fresh fruits, wet earth and pebbles. Just lashings of everything, a stunner.

Finish: Fantastically long and packed full of the same spellbinding complexities as the palate. Clear, direct, balanced and intense. Beautiful!

Comments: I’m sure there can’t be many more casks like this one still to be bottled. They’ll start getting harder and harder to come by soon, I suggest you taste one of these old Clynelishes before it’s too late if you haven’t already. Its a unique distillate that anyone serious about whisky should try at least once in their life. Sends all these modern malts back to school as far as I’m concerned.

Score: 93/100

ps: A vatting of all four is utterly magical!